Tankborn Deleted Scenes

When it comes to the process of editing a manuscript, I always think of that line from Bob Seger's song, Against the Wind, "What to leave in, what to leave out." There are always adjustments to be made in re-writing the draft or during developmental editing. Word choice changes, whole phrases deleted or added, word repetitions that I only spot on a read-through. Redundancies only the editor spots. Sections where everyone is confused and the prose needs to be tightened or clarified.

In the case of the first book of the trilogy, Tankborn, there were four significant sections deleted completely before the book was even marketed. First, my beta reader suggested I cut Zul's journal as the reader felt the inclusion of what was essentially a series of flashbacks slowed the story down. Later, once I'd landed Matt Bialer as my agent, Matt urged the removal of three additional large sections before we started the submission process. Matt felt that these three scenes, which occurred early in the book, constituted too much "throat clearing" as the story got under way.

I went along with this feedback because I knew the deletions would result in a stronger book. But I thought there was some cool stuff in these four deleted sections, so I've resurrected them as exclusive content on my website. Click the links below to discover what could have been in Tankborn.

Joining Scene

Flood Scene

Coffee House Scene

Zul's Journal